We had a follow-up appointment with Dr. W today to figure out what to do after a roller coaster of a week. I knew that something wasn't right early in the week so I did something that I never do, take a pregnancy test. After a few minutes there was a very, very faint thin line. It was so faint and thin that I second guessed myself and looked up "false positives" on the internet. Bad idea. I immediately found images and sites that said the blue dye tests (like I used) often run and lead to false positives. On the other hand, there were plenty of sites that said a positive is positive no matter how faint the line is. To keep myself from going crazy, I took another test in the morning and got a thicker, but still faint blue line. This had to mean that I was pregnant! Once I got to school I called the doctor's office and the receptionist told me that I needed to wait out the rest of the week. Oh, the disappointment of not having this test confirmed....
I decided to take another test Thursday morning because I was starting to feel some PMS symptoms. Just as I suspected, the line did not show up this time. I had all fingers and toes crossed hoping for a darker line, but I knew in my heart that this would not be the case. I went to school and looked up chemical pregnancy because I had heard the term, but wasn't quite sure if what I was experiencing was the same thing. Everything I read fell into line with my symptoms and Dr. W confirmed the same this morning. We lost this pregnancy sometime right after implantation. There is no way to know why this happened, but most of the time this is because of a chromosomal abnormality.
On to the silver lining...although this wasn't the news that either of us wanted to hear, it does tell us one important fact, fertilization happened. This is a huge deal considering all of the obstacles in our way including having only one follicle this time and such a low sperm count. Dr. W said that he is hopeful that we are close to getting what we want. We all agreed that another round of IUI is worth a try. Dr. W even handed over of a bag of donated injections and said, "Merry Christmas." He is amazing. So, here we are again on Day 2 ready for injections to start on Day 4. This time I'll do 2 amps of bravelle on Day 4 and Day 5, then 1 amp on Day 6 and Day 7, a GNT ultrasound on Day 8 and then who knows. We'll keep you posted. I feel pretty darn drained and emotional after such a crazy week, but hopeful at the same time. Keep those prayers coming...they are working!
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